The Backrooms

Huge thank you to Liurnia for the critique and for posting this while I was asleep! I worked a lot on this and I am really happy with it, especially the concept. This is my final entry for Canonicon2024, and I hope you enjoy it! : )

i wonder what this weapon could be…

I really liked the concept! The B.N.T.G. was well used, and while at first I was scared the twist would be the overused "the level is actually dangerous :(", I was happy to see it was not the case. The dynamic between the groups was very interesting.

However, the twist was unfortunately underdevelopped. The catch happened almost immediately. It would have been more interesting to see BR's influence there growing with time, with both BNTG and BBAR (a group you mentionned was working with BNTG but didn't use afterward), where they would see the level being more and more anomalous, with cristals disappearing, unknown sounds of constructions, unconfirmed sight of robotic beings (just random ideas ofc)… making them doubt, first wondering if it is due to the very level, but finally, with your BR building mention, concluding with the climax of the mystery. It would have allowed for a more thrilling read, while showcasing the interactions between the mentionned groups more.

With a more developped twist, I would definitely upvote this page, but as is, it will remain a novote, but it's closed to an upvote! The concept is here, the execution simply needs more devlopment towads the end.

I love the concept too much, I like how they structure everything to make it interesting.

All my positive votes here!

This article appears to resemble an elevated Level 11, lacking in distinctiveness and coming across as somewhat ordinary. Nevertheless, its overall quality remains commendable.

Nice article! I liked the writing style, the composition of text and overall concept is nice. The story is solid.

…But not with a spoon of tar in the barrel of honey. As previously mentioned by Praetor3500, the Backrooms Robotics have just… instantly spawned a familiar looking tower, don’t know why) on Level after a BNTG rejection and "Dun-Dun-Duh, you’re all now done". Maybe they could’ve said like "Oh? You’re saying to us "no"? Well, it’s your choice and you do what you want, but we would advise you to think about our request twice, because… there’s much more behind us, than you already know".
There might’ve been a ongoing pressure appliance from them on this Level, like a vine that grows on your walls and soon might get inside your house, forcing BNTG to either accept their request and living in a relative peace or completely dump this place.
BR looks like a Death Star right now tbh, after this level, The Everything and Reality Lag Machines, that can rip apart the physical and theoretical concepts of Backrooms, to the point of dividing it to 0. That’s even much more dangerous than Decay or something like that.

But going away from this, the article is good! Nothing too extraordinary, just a solid urban page.

interesting concept, underdeveloped execution. the main conflict comes out of nowhere, and the level itself is also not distinct enough to survive without the twist — it's a standard city level with no other attributes besides an abundance of resources.

-1