I've noticed that swimmers tend to stick together, either with other swimmers or alongside the other two classifications of Entity 96.
I've also seen them carrying swimmers, moving them around and placing them near entrances, where they wait for the swimmers to scout out houses. When a swimmer discovers a living thing inside one of these houses, it comes out to let the strider know.
They grab entities out of the houses with these arms and bash them against things, or they can show them off to a watcher by dangling them in front. The watcher takes over from there.
Their interactions are where I think they're unique from other entities, making them not just killing machines but lives that possess feelings.
]]>I'll probably change the watchers to be straight-up cameras for these entities in the future since their instant death ray is strong for no reason lol.
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]]>The only issue with bullet rounds is that there are not a large amount of them available in the back rooms. Things like bows would be more viable, but you would still need a large store of projectiles to set up base.
]]>7/13/2023: Even more improvement. Added logs.
]]>In the future, I hope re-writes can look like this one; with an adherence to the author's original vision being kept in mind.
]]>It would be disingenuous to downvote as the re-write is an improvement, however I feel as though the article still feels somewhat dull and that the introduction of the electrical interference concept was inconsistent.
Will have no problem upvoting once the majority of the issues mentioned so far have been corrected.
]]>Extra SPaG Correction:
They are known to cause static interference in video media and still image recordings will destroy any visible electronic devices.
Something seems to be missing before the word “will”.
]]>The logs don’t add much—all they do is demonstrate what you just said in the paragraphs prior.
The message feels eerie, but simultaneously, it feels too disjointed and oddly worded for it to have any sort of “horror” impact.
I expected an actual revamp—one that would take this page to new heights. Instead, I feel like what I got was something better, but still not serviceable.
A crucial part of rewrites is not copying the prose of the original. You take the original idea and remake it as your own. If you just copy the prose of a page that didn’t have much good prose to begin with (without adding much more to it), no amount of SPaG revisions can save the page from the mundanity that thus follows.
I can tell you’re trying to build up this concept of electrical disturbance, but in my opinion, this starts picking up much too late in the page and is a little inconsistent tone-wise.
]]>Thanks to everyone in the discord server for helping me out with this. All the people that helped are referenced in the "author" collapsible.
Edit: The page has been updated as of 6/9/23 7/13/2023. (Check page 2 for details)
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